Monday Musings: Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Who you are, deep inside, doesn't stop just because you're sick. But sometimes you have to put away the play until you feel well enough to do it again. Not such a big deal when all you have is a cold, and you know you'll get better at some point. But what happens when you're chronically ill? You're not getting better. You feel weird/pained/fatigued/etc. all the time. Your body isn't your own anymore.

I have two conditions that are my primary diagnoses, and Fibromyalgia is one of them. I got diagnosed when I was 15, and it changed my life.

https://www.facebook.com/fibromyalgiastories13

Monday Musings: Playing with Rope

We played with rope! MDR and I have some lovely red rope that we like to use, and he decided to practice some things on my feet.  Foot rope bondage can be really useful. Spread the legs, hoist them up, hold them in place...very versatile!

I definitely recommend playing with rope. I don't mean going to classes that teach kinbaku, or even western rope, though those are awesome if you can find any groups in your area that teach. But there's something nice about just getting out rope and doing stuff. Throwing it around, playing with knots you don't know the names of, and just getting the feel of it.

Monday Musings: Weekend editing snippet

Well, it was a mostly quiet weekend. Yesterday I got to dedicate myself to edits on Her Master's Gift, and I am very excited about how it's coming along! With over 1000 words in new material, but the charm of the familiar characters, the expansion is doing well. I'm hoping to complete these edits over the next few weeks, barring catastrophe.


Of course, you guys know Murphy's Law, right? *grins*

In honor of the editing, and because you guys are awesome, I'm posting a little snippet of Her Master's Gift! Enjoy!

Monday Musings: Pervertible objects

Valentine's Day has passed, and we have loot! Well, a little loot. In the form of a very long canvas belt from a store at the mall, which we shall soon use for perverse purposes. It's perfect!

What purposes can a belt like this be used for? Well, it could be an at-home chastity belt. It could be a tie-point (or twelve, with all those holes) for rope. It could also be a form of bondage all on its own.

It's important to see the sexy in everyday objects. Not all of us can afford some of the more expensive toys, and sometimes it's nice to view that bamboo cutting board, a set of keys, a ruler, or even a belt, in a creative light.

How's everyone this Monday? Got any pervertible tips of your own? 

Monday Musings: Yay rope bondage!

Today marks a year and a half of marriage for me and hubby. Yay! We're really happy, and have had some exciting, awesome times during our marriage! Here's to hoping for many more!

This past week, my hubby and I were able to attend a rope event in our area. I must say, it was good to get back into a location with kinky folks. As interesting as the swinging event the other week was (and yes, we'll probably be going back), kink is our comfort zone. We understand the protocols, what's allowed and what's not, whether we know everyone there or not.

Rope is very versatile, and to be honest, we don't do the fancy kinbaku (shibari) style rope at this point. While beautiful, we haven't the time, nor the space, to do that. What we do have is the ability to use simple ties and the force of the rope against itself to create incredible bondage that doesn't remain static unless we want it to. It's inspiring, to play with rope together, and to have it act as a conduit for our energy, back and forth, his and mine running along to each other.

Any anniversaries happening for you guys? What about forays into rope bondage, either in real life or fiction? I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday Thirteen: Top 13 Fetish Fiction Books

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

My journey into BDSM was not sudden. It was a combination of factors, actions and realizations on my part of what I really wanted. There were hints of it here and there, but what set off the light bulb was a book. How surprising, yes? *grins* 

Now, these books are in no particular order, but I do adore all of them. For their own reasons, they have a special place in my heart, and inspire me every time I re-read them. Most have the distinction of being part of my initial journey into BDSM, giving my thoughts and fantasies new life as I explored.


 1. Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey
- Set in a Renaissance-era alternate universe, this world introduced me to sacred sexuality and BDSM in a whole new way. Pain and pleasure intertwine in such a way where pleasure is excruciating and pain the ultimate release. 

 2. Natural Law by Joey W. Hill
- The first book I ever read by Joey W. Hill was Natural Law. This introduced me to my favorite Fem Dom/male sub dynamic in fiction, and the characters and plot were so engaging, I couldn't put it down. That time, or any other time I read it. The rest of the Nature of Desire series is a must-read!

 3. Bent by Sean Michael
- This book is intense, one of the more intense, strictly Master/slave novels I've read. There's a ton of sex, which is awesome, but also a lot of character growth and development, and the trust that develops is really beautiful. The rest of The Hammer series is also well worth reading.

 4. Secret Submission by Diana Hunter
- Ah, this book. This was the first explicitly BDSM fiction book I ever read (first published 2004), and it really helped the light bulb go off in my head. Ooooh, so THAT makes sense now.

 5. Power Exchange by Madeline Oh
- Another special power exchange book, where trust headlines, and a submissive woman develops in the capable hands of her dominant partner.

 6. Golden Boy, Golden Man by Claire Thompson
- Claire Thompson has enviable skill at writing power exchange. This story of an imperfect dominant man and his earnest submissive just sizzles. It also shows how important limits are, in a world where many limits are pushed to the max.

 7. Special Delivery by Heidi Cullinan
- The power exchange in this tale is at times very obvious, and at times more subtle, but the story keeps going, and I keep getting more and more wrapped up. I love that the communication between the two characters is always happening, sometimes with some misfires, but always to progress the relationship. And, as we all know, communication is the foundation of a good relationship, especially a kinky one.

 8. Training to Pleasure by Julian Masters
- This books is amazing. The detail and emotion as the submissive goes through her training, learning to trust, learning to let go of her previous ideas of what it would really mean to belong to someone this way, was so intense. Still one of my favorites.

 9. The Experiment by Elliot Mabeuse
- Elliot Mabeuse has an interesting writing style, and an equally interesting mind for kink. While not traditional kink, the power dynamic in his story is undeniable.

10. Dark Elves 1: Taken by Jet Mykles
- This one, well, it's just really hot. I have fairly high standards for my fantasy, but there was something about the elves... *grins* And it's part of a series that is equally hot.

11. Ice Queen/Mirror of my Soul by Joey W. Hill
- Yep, more Joey W. Hill. She is just amazing at writing realistic characters who breathe in your heart long after you put the book down. These two stories go together, and a woman's journey from pure dominant to switch is just amazing. (This is also part of her Nature of Desire series)

12. Dolphin Dreams by Jules Jones
- This book is incredibly unique. Dolphin shifters, M/M/M, and kink. It's a lot, and it's all beautifully executed. I was fascinated, and to this day still am.

13. Master/slave edited by N.T. Morley
- I love this book because there are 30 tales ON each side, FROM each side. It's such a nifty configuration, and the cover art is beautiful. It's a must have for your kinky fiction collection!


What are your favorite fetish-oriented fiction books? From the light to the heavy, I'd love to hear about them all!

Monday Musings: Different Definitions of The Lifestyle

I took the week off last week, as work was pretty crazy and I needed some decompression time. Sorry I was gone, but I definitely feel recharged! Now I can talk about the things that happened.

When I use the term "The Lifestyle," I am talking about BDSM and kink. It's what that term means to me, and living in a BDSM dynamic is very important to my everyday life.

When some people use the term "The Lifestyle," they might be talking about swinging. It's what that term means to them, so when I say I live "The Lifestyle," while I mean kink, they might mean swinging.

How confusing is that? Very! But now I'm more aware, and my vocabulary has expanded. There are other swinger terms too, but that one could definitely cause some confusion between lifestyles.

Then again, there are kinksters who swing, swingers who like kink, and some who only choose one of those, or even none of them. Sexuality and our sexual practices can be so fluid and blend into a variety of labels, you can't really stick people into one cubbyhole or another.

This thought came about because I attended an event in my area with Hubby that is mostly promoted towards swingers, but definitely had its share of kinksters, or combinations thereof. There was singing, dancing, some nudity, and tons of fun! But the language was bandied about, on literature (magazines and placards) and in the conversations happening around us.

It was an incredible learning experience, not just for the new definitions in my mental dictionary, but the energy of the people, the space, and all of the different kinds of interactions.

Have you guys ever had experiences that have broadened, or even challenged, previously held ideas? I'd love to hear about them!

Happy Monday!

Friday Deviance: The Marks of a Kinkster

BDSM is a Lifestyle where marks tend to hold tremendous relevance. There are more temporary ones, like whip and rope marks, which fade relatively quickly. Then there are marks of ownership, like tattoos, brands, or even collars. There are also marks of family, from flags for factions in the community, to patches that signify a Leather Family or BDSM House. But for this post, it's all about the body, and the adornments that go with BDSM.

To me, both sides of the coin are important. The temporary and the permanent, that which fades and that which reminds.

The Temporary: That Which Fades

Bruises from bite marks, a rosy bottom after a paddling, or welts from a whip, can all be part of the endorphin rush that goes along with playing. It's one of my favorite parts of play, though damn my skin, my marks go away almost instantaneously. Still, bruises, bite marks, whip marks, rope marks, all are lovely impressions left on the skin after play that make reliving the experience even easier.

The marks are badges of honor, badges of love, something to be proud of and to show off. Bottoms all around (whether sub, slave, switch, or even Dominant) tend to like to compare and contrast, telling stories of pleasure and pain over meals at munches or across the 'net on message boards.

These marks don't last, which can be sad, but that also leaves a fresh canvas for more memories to find their way, different designs all beautiful in their own way. They are masochistic flowers which bloom for short periods before fading from view.

The Permanent: That Which Reminds

Tattoos. Collars. Brands. These are the more permanent kinds of marks that can last for many years.

Collars, the wedding rings of BDSM, come in many forms. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, all sizes and colors and security levels, but one of the main purposes is to remind one that he or she is owned. Whether or not it CAN easily come off is immaterial. My collar currently takes the form of a necklace which can be unfastened without trouble. It gets taken off only for cleaning and polishing, and then ritualistically placed back around my neck. The rest of the time, it stays where it belongs.

Tattoos. These body mods are very popular, and can be used to mark memorials, to mark life changes, to mark possession...or for fun. I know people who have tattoos just because the design was pretty. I know others who have them as major life moments marked. It depends on the person. Tattoos are nice because of how vivid they are, and a design can be as detailed as you like. On the other side of that, they never go away. This can be good and bad. Relationships don't always last forever. It's something to consider before taking this step.

Branding. Ah, branding. Most think of branding cattle, and hey, maybe it's not too far from that. It can be a mark of ownership, and slaves in BDSM are "property" of their owners. However, for some, it can be a very spiritual experience. And not everyone who gets branded does so for ownership reasons. Like tattoos, branding has gotten popular as a body mod. They are simpler and more elemental than tattoos. Details get lost in brands, so simple line designs are best. The pain of a brand isn't too bad (and I'm seriously a baby when it comes to pain), but every person is different. Still, the experience was very important, special, and spiritual.

It's Personal

In the end, marks are intensely personal. They are different for every person, special in their own way, and can provide an intense amount of pride, either for enduring an ordeal or enjoying a pleasure.

Do any of you have marks that mean something? I'd love to hear your stories!