Monday Musings: Playing with Rope

We played with rope! MDR and I have some lovely red rope that we like to use, and he decided to practice some things on my feet.  Foot rope bondage can be really useful. Spread the legs, hoist them up, hold them in place...very versatile!

I definitely recommend playing with rope. I don't mean going to classes that teach kinbaku, or even western rope, though those are awesome if you can find any groups in your area that teach. But there's something nice about just getting out rope and doing stuff. Throwing it around, playing with knots you don't know the names of, and just getting the feel of it.

A Branding Story: Searing Love

A permanent mark is an important thing in the BDSM world. It can denote ownership, family, and specific bonds that are meant to last forever. A brand is one of these important marks.

I wear my husband, MDR's, brand now, and a very good friend of ours Master O. (and his slave d.) helped make that happen. It began in June of 2013. On FetLife, a group posting let us know that there would be a branding demo in one of our local dungeons. I expressed excitement about that, and our friend posed the option of me being one of the demo bottoms for their presentation on branding. After some conversation, MDR and I agreed that it was a great idea. We even had a design for it!

I made several posts on FetLife going up to the day of the branding. I was so excited, and SO nervous! I mean, I knew the basics of what would happen, but there's no real way to prepare for the sensory experience of someone burning a mark into your skin for the first time.

Monday Musings: Yay rope bondage!

Today marks a year and a half of marriage for me and hubby. Yay! We're really happy, and have had some exciting, awesome times during our marriage! Here's to hoping for many more!

This past week, my hubby and I were able to attend a rope event in our area. I must say, it was good to get back into a location with kinky folks. As interesting as the swinging event the other week was (and yes, we'll probably be going back), kink is our comfort zone. We understand the protocols, what's allowed and what's not, whether we know everyone there or not.

Rope is very versatile, and to be honest, we don't do the fancy kinbaku (shibari) style rope at this point. While beautiful, we haven't the time, nor the space, to do that. What we do have is the ability to use simple ties and the force of the rope against itself to create incredible bondage that doesn't remain static unless we want it to. It's inspiring, to play with rope together, and to have it act as a conduit for our energy, back and forth, his and mine running along to each other.

Any anniversaries happening for you guys? What about forays into rope bondage, either in real life or fiction? I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday Thirteen: Top 13 Fetish Fiction Books

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

My journey into BDSM was not sudden. It was a combination of factors, actions and realizations on my part of what I really wanted. There were hints of it here and there, but what set off the light bulb was a book. How surprising, yes? *grins* 

Now, these books are in no particular order, but I do adore all of them. For their own reasons, they have a special place in my heart, and inspire me every time I re-read them. Most have the distinction of being part of my initial journey into BDSM, giving my thoughts and fantasies new life as I explored.


 1. Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey
- Set in a Renaissance-era alternate universe, this world introduced me to sacred sexuality and BDSM in a whole new way. Pain and pleasure intertwine in such a way where pleasure is excruciating and pain the ultimate release. 

 2. Natural Law by Joey W. Hill
- The first book I ever read by Joey W. Hill was Natural Law. This introduced me to my favorite Fem Dom/male sub dynamic in fiction, and the characters and plot were so engaging, I couldn't put it down. That time, or any other time I read it. The rest of the Nature of Desire series is a must-read!

 3. Bent by Sean Michael
- This book is intense, one of the more intense, strictly Master/slave novels I've read. There's a ton of sex, which is awesome, but also a lot of character growth and development, and the trust that develops is really beautiful. The rest of The Hammer series is also well worth reading.

 4. Secret Submission by Diana Hunter
- Ah, this book. This was the first explicitly BDSM fiction book I ever read (first published 2004), and it really helped the light bulb go off in my head. Ooooh, so THAT makes sense now.

 5. Power Exchange by Madeline Oh
- Another special power exchange book, where trust headlines, and a submissive woman develops in the capable hands of her dominant partner.

 6. Golden Boy, Golden Man by Claire Thompson
- Claire Thompson has enviable skill at writing power exchange. This story of an imperfect dominant man and his earnest submissive just sizzles. It also shows how important limits are, in a world where many limits are pushed to the max.

 7. Special Delivery by Heidi Cullinan
- The power exchange in this tale is at times very obvious, and at times more subtle, but the story keeps going, and I keep getting more and more wrapped up. I love that the communication between the two characters is always happening, sometimes with some misfires, but always to progress the relationship. And, as we all know, communication is the foundation of a good relationship, especially a kinky one.

 8. Training to Pleasure by Julian Masters
- This books is amazing. The detail and emotion as the submissive goes through her training, learning to trust, learning to let go of her previous ideas of what it would really mean to belong to someone this way, was so intense. Still one of my favorites.

 9. The Experiment by Elliot Mabeuse
- Elliot Mabeuse has an interesting writing style, and an equally interesting mind for kink. While not traditional kink, the power dynamic in his story is undeniable.

10. Dark Elves 1: Taken by Jet Mykles
- This one, well, it's just really hot. I have fairly high standards for my fantasy, but there was something about the elves... *grins* And it's part of a series that is equally hot.

11. Ice Queen/Mirror of my Soul by Joey W. Hill
- Yep, more Joey W. Hill. She is just amazing at writing realistic characters who breathe in your heart long after you put the book down. These two stories go together, and a woman's journey from pure dominant to switch is just amazing. (This is also part of her Nature of Desire series)

12. Dolphin Dreams by Jules Jones
- This book is incredibly unique. Dolphin shifters, M/M/M, and kink. It's a lot, and it's all beautifully executed. I was fascinated, and to this day still am.

13. Master/slave edited by N.T. Morley
- I love this book because there are 30 tales ON each side, FROM each side. It's such a nifty configuration, and the cover art is beautiful. It's a must have for your kinky fiction collection!


What are your favorite fetish-oriented fiction books? From the light to the heavy, I'd love to hear about them all!

Monday Musings: Different Definitions of The Lifestyle

I took the week off last week, as work was pretty crazy and I needed some decompression time. Sorry I was gone, but I definitely feel recharged! Now I can talk about the things that happened.

When I use the term "The Lifestyle," I am talking about BDSM and kink. It's what that term means to me, and living in a BDSM dynamic is very important to my everyday life.

When some people use the term "The Lifestyle," they might be talking about swinging. It's what that term means to them, so when I say I live "The Lifestyle," while I mean kink, they might mean swinging.

How confusing is that? Very! But now I'm more aware, and my vocabulary has expanded. There are other swinger terms too, but that one could definitely cause some confusion between lifestyles.

Then again, there are kinksters who swing, swingers who like kink, and some who only choose one of those, or even none of them. Sexuality and our sexual practices can be so fluid and blend into a variety of labels, you can't really stick people into one cubbyhole or another.

This thought came about because I attended an event in my area with Hubby that is mostly promoted towards swingers, but definitely had its share of kinksters, or combinations thereof. There was singing, dancing, some nudity, and tons of fun! But the language was bandied about, on literature (magazines and placards) and in the conversations happening around us.

It was an incredible learning experience, not just for the new definitions in my mental dictionary, but the energy of the people, the space, and all of the different kinds of interactions.

Have you guys ever had experiences that have broadened, or even challenged, previously held ideas? I'd love to hear about them!

Happy Monday!