Monday Musings: Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Who you are, deep inside, doesn't stop just because you're sick. But sometimes you have to put away the play until you feel well enough to do it again. Not such a big deal when all you have is a cold, and you know you'll get better at some point. But what happens when you're chronically ill? You're not getting better. You feel weird/pained/fatigued/etc. all the time. Your body isn't your own anymore.

I have two conditions that are my primary diagnoses, and Fibromyalgia is one of them. I got diagnosed when I was 15, and it changed my life.

https://www.facebook.com/fibromyalgiastories13

Monday Musings: Weekend editing snippet

Well, it was a mostly quiet weekend. Yesterday I got to dedicate myself to edits on Her Master's Gift, and I am very excited about how it's coming along! With over 1000 words in new material, but the charm of the familiar characters, the expansion is doing well. I'm hoping to complete these edits over the next few weeks, barring catastrophe.


Of course, you guys know Murphy's Law, right? *grins*

In honor of the editing, and because you guys are awesome, I'm posting a little snippet of Her Master's Gift! Enjoy!

Monday Musings: Yay rope bondage!

Today marks a year and a half of marriage for me and hubby. Yay! We're really happy, and have had some exciting, awesome times during our marriage! Here's to hoping for many more!

This past week, my hubby and I were able to attend a rope event in our area. I must say, it was good to get back into a location with kinky folks. As interesting as the swinging event the other week was (and yes, we'll probably be going back), kink is our comfort zone. We understand the protocols, what's allowed and what's not, whether we know everyone there or not.

Rope is very versatile, and to be honest, we don't do the fancy kinbaku (shibari) style rope at this point. While beautiful, we haven't the time, nor the space, to do that. What we do have is the ability to use simple ties and the force of the rope against itself to create incredible bondage that doesn't remain static unless we want it to. It's inspiring, to play with rope together, and to have it act as a conduit for our energy, back and forth, his and mine running along to each other.

Any anniversaries happening for you guys? What about forays into rope bondage, either in real life or fiction? I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday Thirteen: Top 13 Fetish Fiction Books

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

My journey into BDSM was not sudden. It was a combination of factors, actions and realizations on my part of what I really wanted. There were hints of it here and there, but what set off the light bulb was a book. How surprising, yes? *grins* 

Now, these books are in no particular order, but I do adore all of them. For their own reasons, they have a special place in my heart, and inspire me every time I re-read them. Most have the distinction of being part of my initial journey into BDSM, giving my thoughts and fantasies new life as I explored.


 1. Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey
- Set in a Renaissance-era alternate universe, this world introduced me to sacred sexuality and BDSM in a whole new way. Pain and pleasure intertwine in such a way where pleasure is excruciating and pain the ultimate release. 

 2. Natural Law by Joey W. Hill
- The first book I ever read by Joey W. Hill was Natural Law. This introduced me to my favorite Fem Dom/male sub dynamic in fiction, and the characters and plot were so engaging, I couldn't put it down. That time, or any other time I read it. The rest of the Nature of Desire series is a must-read!

 3. Bent by Sean Michael
- This book is intense, one of the more intense, strictly Master/slave novels I've read. There's a ton of sex, which is awesome, but also a lot of character growth and development, and the trust that develops is really beautiful. The rest of The Hammer series is also well worth reading.

 4. Secret Submission by Diana Hunter
- Ah, this book. This was the first explicitly BDSM fiction book I ever read (first published 2004), and it really helped the light bulb go off in my head. Ooooh, so THAT makes sense now.

 5. Power Exchange by Madeline Oh
- Another special power exchange book, where trust headlines, and a submissive woman develops in the capable hands of her dominant partner.

 6. Golden Boy, Golden Man by Claire Thompson
- Claire Thompson has enviable skill at writing power exchange. This story of an imperfect dominant man and his earnest submissive just sizzles. It also shows how important limits are, in a world where many limits are pushed to the max.

 7. Special Delivery by Heidi Cullinan
- The power exchange in this tale is at times very obvious, and at times more subtle, but the story keeps going, and I keep getting more and more wrapped up. I love that the communication between the two characters is always happening, sometimes with some misfires, but always to progress the relationship. And, as we all know, communication is the foundation of a good relationship, especially a kinky one.

 8. Training to Pleasure by Julian Masters
- This books is amazing. The detail and emotion as the submissive goes through her training, learning to trust, learning to let go of her previous ideas of what it would really mean to belong to someone this way, was so intense. Still one of my favorites.

 9. The Experiment by Elliot Mabeuse
- Elliot Mabeuse has an interesting writing style, and an equally interesting mind for kink. While not traditional kink, the power dynamic in his story is undeniable.

10. Dark Elves 1: Taken by Jet Mykles
- This one, well, it's just really hot. I have fairly high standards for my fantasy, but there was something about the elves... *grins* And it's part of a series that is equally hot.

11. Ice Queen/Mirror of my Soul by Joey W. Hill
- Yep, more Joey W. Hill. She is just amazing at writing realistic characters who breathe in your heart long after you put the book down. These two stories go together, and a woman's journey from pure dominant to switch is just amazing. (This is also part of her Nature of Desire series)

12. Dolphin Dreams by Jules Jones
- This book is incredibly unique. Dolphin shifters, M/M/M, and kink. It's a lot, and it's all beautifully executed. I was fascinated, and to this day still am.

13. Master/slave edited by N.T. Morley
- I love this book because there are 30 tales ON each side, FROM each side. It's such a nifty configuration, and the cover art is beautiful. It's a must have for your kinky fiction collection!


What are your favorite fetish-oriented fiction books? From the light to the heavy, I'd love to hear about them all!

Friday Deviance: Let's Neck

Playing around the neck, especially rough, can be a bad, bad thing. Dangerous? Oh yes. But in BDSM, we like to flirt with fire (figuratively and literally), which means normally "bad" things can be utilized in play. As always, communication is vital, and if someone has neck issues, I recommend caution, or even avoiding rough neck play altogether. Your mileage may vary.

The neck is such a vulnerable place. When you put your hand against your throat, it's a protective gesture. We touch our necks to soothe ourselves during times of fear or discomfort. We straighten our heads and show off our necks when we feel confident. With your head up, shoulders back, and back straight, the neck is visible, though not offered. It's one of the most vital, sensitive, vulnerable parts of the body. And then we give someone access. That message is very clear. "I trust you not to damage me. You may touch."

Of course, the first real "neck play" is, well, necking! Heavy petting tends to involve lots of contact with the neck. Kisses, nibbles, bites, the sensation of your partner panting in pleasure against that sensitive skin. The nerve endings are so sensitive there, and it's definitely on the foreplay road map for most!

In play, the neck becomes an important tool. A firm hand around the throat, beneath the chin to tilt up your head, can mean, "Pay attention!" or "Focus!" A grip on the back of your neck is more directive, still a very dominant gesture, but it can be soothing or leading, depending on the pressure used, and which direction the dominant party pushes.

When laying down, the messages are slightly different. A hand to the throat when you're on your back can be an order to stay in place, an order to focus, or both at once. Stroking the throat can be a sign of affection and approval. A hand (or shiny, black leather boot...Mmm) to the back of the neck when you're on your belly means "Stay!" or "Submit."

That's merely placement. Then there's pressure, varying degrees of it, though of course one should be quite careful with not putting too much pressure in the wrong spot. Keep pressure very even, and keep in communication about how it feels.

A light caress can be very seductive and very soothing, lulling the submissive partner and giving them more reason to trust. A firm grip can be titillating, attention-getting, and incredibly bonding. It all depends on the energy of the scene.

The dominant isn't the only partner to play in the neck region! There are submissive gestures as well. Lightly kissing, even lightly nibbling, the dominant's neck, nuzzling it and rubbing your face against it, are all more submissive gestures. It also indicates trust from the dominant to the submissive. Remember, the dynamic is a two-way street, even if it looks like only one gives while the other takes.

From gentle caresses to firm interactions, the neck is a source of pleasure, communication, and trust. Use it wisely!

(Image within the text is not mine, but is linked to source)

Friday Deviance: The Marks of a Kinkster

BDSM is a Lifestyle where marks tend to hold tremendous relevance. There are more temporary ones, like whip and rope marks, which fade relatively quickly. Then there are marks of ownership, like tattoos, brands, or even collars. There are also marks of family, from flags for factions in the community, to patches that signify a Leather Family or BDSM House. But for this post, it's all about the body, and the adornments that go with BDSM.

To me, both sides of the coin are important. The temporary and the permanent, that which fades and that which reminds.

The Temporary: That Which Fades

Bruises from bite marks, a rosy bottom after a paddling, or welts from a whip, can all be part of the endorphin rush that goes along with playing. It's one of my favorite parts of play, though damn my skin, my marks go away almost instantaneously. Still, bruises, bite marks, whip marks, rope marks, all are lovely impressions left on the skin after play that make reliving the experience even easier.

The marks are badges of honor, badges of love, something to be proud of and to show off. Bottoms all around (whether sub, slave, switch, or even Dominant) tend to like to compare and contrast, telling stories of pleasure and pain over meals at munches or across the 'net on message boards.

These marks don't last, which can be sad, but that also leaves a fresh canvas for more memories to find their way, different designs all beautiful in their own way. They are masochistic flowers which bloom for short periods before fading from view.

The Permanent: That Which Reminds

Tattoos. Collars. Brands. These are the more permanent kinds of marks that can last for many years.

Collars, the wedding rings of BDSM, come in many forms. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, all sizes and colors and security levels, but one of the main purposes is to remind one that he or she is owned. Whether or not it CAN easily come off is immaterial. My collar currently takes the form of a necklace which can be unfastened without trouble. It gets taken off only for cleaning and polishing, and then ritualistically placed back around my neck. The rest of the time, it stays where it belongs.

Tattoos. These body mods are very popular, and can be used to mark memorials, to mark life changes, to mark possession...or for fun. I know people who have tattoos just because the design was pretty. I know others who have them as major life moments marked. It depends on the person. Tattoos are nice because of how vivid they are, and a design can be as detailed as you like. On the other side of that, they never go away. This can be good and bad. Relationships don't always last forever. It's something to consider before taking this step.

Branding. Ah, branding. Most think of branding cattle, and hey, maybe it's not too far from that. It can be a mark of ownership, and slaves in BDSM are "property" of their owners. However, for some, it can be a very spiritual experience. And not everyone who gets branded does so for ownership reasons. Like tattoos, branding has gotten popular as a body mod. They are simpler and more elemental than tattoos. Details get lost in brands, so simple line designs are best. The pain of a brand isn't too bad (and I'm seriously a baby when it comes to pain), but every person is different. Still, the experience was very important, special, and spiritual.

It's Personal

In the end, marks are intensely personal. They are different for every person, special in their own way, and can provide an intense amount of pride, either for enduring an ordeal or enjoying a pleasure.

Do any of you have marks that mean something? I'd love to hear your stories!

Thanksgiving Thoughts - 5 Kinky Things

Thanksgiving is coming up, and I'm crafting a mish-mosh of things that I'm thankful for, and perhaps even an explanation why! It's sort of grade-school essay meets sexy-times. I'll be posting more this week about the holiday, but these things came to mind, and I thought I'd share them!

The 5 Kinky Things I'm Grateful For: 

1. Paddles - They are thuddy, come in all shapes and sizes and materials, and are incredibly inspiring when it comes to stories! Also, they are a very nice reward. Or punishment, if one happens to have thumbtacks embedded in it. Thankfully, I've never been that bad.

2. Rope - Because being tied up is bliss. Going inside of yourself, going beyond the boundaries of flesh into something spiritual is amazing. Also, the stuff can smell really good, if you use hemp or jute (and accidentally left it in a bag with a packet of Big Red gum).

3. Pillows - You wouldn't think pillows would be kinky objects, but hold on a sec! Kneeling can be a pain in the knees without one. I mean, even with carpeting! "Sorry Master, can we hurry the blowjob along so I can get off my knees?" Yes, I see that going over very well. Plus, it can make a very nice present from Dom to sub, presenting her with her very own pillow for kneeling/sitting on the floor near him. It's a great way to get into a headspace.

4. Leather - Not just for kinky stuff! I will huff leather jackets and boots and pants and vests and purses...the scent is intoxicating. But also for cuffs, collars, and blindfolds...they are sturdy and comfortable when padded.

5. Floggers - In their many guises, they can be soft, sensuous toys, or intense, painful toys. Both kinds have their merits, and I've had the pleasure of experiencing both. Made of rope, leather, suede, and Fruit-by-the-Foot, they are an awesome addition to any toybag. (And edible, in the case of Fruit-by-the-Foot floggers!)

So guys, those are mine! What are some of the kinky things you love?

Multiple partners in romance

I'm reading a lot of stories where the HEA involves more than two partners.  And I have to say, I really enjoy it! My life has been such that I've been able to experience a few different relationship dynamics, from polyamory to where I am now, which is monogamy with options. It's just as much fun for me to read stories where three find happiness, or four, as with two living happily together.

My stories tend to involve multiple partners, but thus far haven't had as much of a polyamorous bent until Feeding the Beast. I'm fascinated with all sorts of relationship shape dynamics, from polyamory to swinging to monogamy. I like to explore how my characters can make it work when there is more than one person to work things out with, whether they are sexual play partners that stay for a night or two, or romantic partners that join the family. When more than two are involved, even one night of pleasure can change the dynamic, the emotions, the interactions. Heck, changing up the relationship dynamic between two people for one night can change things too! People are complicated.

These dynamics can flow very easily into the Lifestyle and/or kinky aspects of my stories, but they are separate. For me, the Lifestyle is an internal growth experienced through external measure. Being kinky doesn't predispose someone towards multiple partners, anymore than being vanilla predisposes someone towards monogamy. People are different, unique, and will form unique relationships that suit them over the courses of their lives.

So, my questions for you guys are: what is your favorite relationship style to read about, and why? Or do you have more than one favorite? The alluring twosome? The tantalizing threesome? Or even the provocative  foursome?

Let me know! I'd love to hear all the details!