Depression and Creativity

Depression is insidious. It makes doing even the things you know you like rather impossible, and the things you have to do like pulling teeth, if you can even do that much. It's something I've dealt with for over half of my life now, and some times are easier than others.

Some days it's hard to put one foot in front of the other, let alone put words into any discernible order. But I'm trying, and I'm doing things that usually help to pull me back up from that dark pit of utter apathy.

So, that's part of why I haven't been 'round much. Health issues, plus depression, equals not much posting from me. I also seem to hibernate in the summertime. The heat really gets to me. Thankfully it's autumn now!

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, trying to write a little more, add to my projects, and participate in online life in addition to offline life. It's just taking me a little bit, but I'm doing it!

Monday Musings: A contract for Her Master's Gift!

I'm quite pleased to announce that Decadent Publishing has offered a contract for Her Master's Gift! I can't explain how excited this makes me, but I might've danced around the living room when I got the news.

I wanted to wait to make the announcement (which came in last week) because my printer decided it didn't want to connect to my new computer, and I wanted the contract signed, sealed, and delivered before making a formal post.

So, I got creative and examined my printer (about 3 years old now), and found the USB drive that allowed me to scan again so that I could actually get my signed contract back to the publisher. *grins* I'd only ever done wireless printing and scanning, but apparently the drivers don't agree with my new computer any longer for the purpose of scanning. Ah well. This new way is actually a bit easier, so that's something!

There's work ahead, from edits to excerpts, but I can't wait to do it, and I know that Decadent is the best home possible for the tale of Katie and Sam's journey of love, lust, and trust.

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Reasons for my Game of Thrones Obsession

Welcome to my Thursday-13! The Thursday-13 is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it.

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So, I just recently started watching Game of Thrones, the hit show on HBO. I didn't think I'd like it, because though I'm a SFF fan in general, I don't like everything. It's a tossup between what will bore me and what will enthrall me.

So I watched episode 1. And then episode 2. And then my husband and I got into it together, and we're halfway through season 3 at the moment. I'm in love with the stories, the characters, and the sheer emotional torture that is this show. I'm sure at some point I'll also read the books, but that'll come later.

So, why am I so obsessed now? Here you go, from the general to the specific. Beware, if you haven't seen it, SPOILERS further down the list!

Monday Musings: Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Who you are, deep inside, doesn't stop just because you're sick. But sometimes you have to put away the play until you feel well enough to do it again. Not such a big deal when all you have is a cold, and you know you'll get better at some point. But what happens when you're chronically ill? You're not getting better. You feel weird/pained/fatigued/etc. all the time. Your body isn't your own anymore.

I have two conditions that are my primary diagnoses, and Fibromyalgia is one of them. I got diagnosed when I was 15, and it changed my life.

https://www.facebook.com/fibromyalgiastories13

A Mother Lost: Year 2

Today marks two years since I lost my Mama. The best woman I ever knew, the woman who raised me, who taught me how to be strong and to roll with the punches. I'm a Mama's girl, through and through.

I was there, when she passed. Right there with her, just me and her. I'd never seen anyone die before. I wasn't prepared for it at all. She'd been sick all of my life and most of her own, though the cancer was a more recent development. I thought she could beat anything. She always had before. Things that would've killed her, should've killed her, didn't. She survived, and fought with all her strength to keep going.

There's so much I wish she could've been there for. Not just the big things, like my marriage or graduation, but the little things. The everyday things. Until she died, there wasn't a day that passed without us speaking. If we weren't together in person, we were talking on the phone.

Monday Musings: Playing with Rope

We played with rope! MDR and I have some lovely red rope that we like to use, and he decided to practice some things on my feet.  Foot rope bondage can be really useful. Spread the legs, hoist them up, hold them in place...very versatile!

I definitely recommend playing with rope. I don't mean going to classes that teach kinbaku, or even western rope, though those are awesome if you can find any groups in your area that teach. But there's something nice about just getting out rope and doing stuff. Throwing it around, playing with knots you don't know the names of, and just getting the feel of it.

A Branding Story: Searing Love

A permanent mark is an important thing in the BDSM world. It can denote ownership, family, and specific bonds that are meant to last forever. A brand is one of these important marks.

I wear my husband, MDR's, brand now, and a very good friend of ours Master O. (and his slave d.) helped make that happen. It began in June of 2013. On FetLife, a group posting let us know that there would be a branding demo in one of our local dungeons. I expressed excitement about that, and our friend posed the option of me being one of the demo bottoms for their presentation on branding. After some conversation, MDR and I agreed that it was a great idea. We even had a design for it!

I made several posts on FetLife going up to the day of the branding. I was so excited, and SO nervous! I mean, I knew the basics of what would happen, but there's no real way to prepare for the sensory experience of someone burning a mark into your skin for the first time.