Friday, April 18, 2014
Today marks two years since I lost my Mama. The best woman I ever knew, the woman who raised me, who taught me how to be strong and to roll with the punches. I'm a Mama's girl, through and through.
I was there, when she passed. Right there with her, just me and her. I'd never seen anyone die before. I wasn't prepared for it at all. She'd been sick all of my life and most of her own, though the cancer was a more recent development. I thought she could beat anything. She always had before. Things that would've killed her, should've killed her, didn't. She survived, and fought with all her strength to keep going.
There's so much I wish she could've been there for. Not just the big things, like my marriage or graduation, but the little things. The everyday things. Until she died, there wasn't a day that passed without us speaking. If we weren't together in person, we were talking on the phone.
Monday, April 14, 2014
We played with rope! MDR and I have some lovely red rope that we like to use, and he decided to practice some things on my feet. Foot rope bondage can be really useful. Spread the legs, hoist them up, hold them in place...very versatile!
I definitely recommend playing with rope. I don't mean going to classes that teach kinbaku, or even western rope, though those are awesome if you can find any groups in your area that teach. But there's something nice about just getting out rope and doing stuff. Throwing it around, playing with knots you don't know the names of, and just getting the feel of it.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
I wear my husband, MDR's, brand now, and a very good friend of ours Master O. (and his slave d.) helped make that happen. It began in June of 2013. On FetLife, a group posting let us know that there would be a branding demo in one of our local dungeons. I expressed excitement about that, and our friend posed the option of me being one of the demo bottoms for their presentation on branding. After some conversation, MDR and I agreed that it was a great idea. We even had a design for it!
I made several posts on FetLife going up to the day of the branding. I was so excited, and SO nervous! I mean, I knew the basics of what would happen, but there's no real way to prepare for the sensory experience of someone burning a mark into your skin for the first time.
Monday, April 7, 2014
The 3rd of April was the anniversary of my collaring in 2011. It's amazing to me that it's been 3 years. It feels like it can't have been that long, while at the same time it feels as if we've been together forever.
My collar is simple: a silver heart-shaped necklace which has my husband's initials on it to proclaim me his girl. It has only been removed for cleaning, and then placed back around my neck, but for the first full year of wearing it, it never left contact with my skin.
It's an important symbol, my collar. It gives me peace and security. A sense of my Owner, always with me, even when we're apart. When life is chaos around me, it's a physical reminder of my place. He also gave it to me at an important time in our lives. You see, he was going to collar me at a kink event, a national one that we'd planned on attending for months. Now, I knew about the event. I had no clue about the collar.