Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: My Top 13 Favorite Colors

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

I have this tendency to anthropomorphize inanimate objects, including computers, household appliances, vegetables at the store, the car, and even colors. It's something I did as a child, and I just never really stopped. It may sound crazy, but I'm okay with that. *grins*  With that said...

I don't believe in liking just one color. The other colors then get sad that they weren't picked, and then you have to deal with that guilt every time you see crayons, markers, and rainbows. And really, who wants to deal with that kind of guilt?

My favorite colors are as follows:

  1. Royal Purple
  2. Maroon
  3. Spring Green
  4. Blood Red
  5. Raven Black (the kind that glints blue in the light)
  6. Periwinkle
  7. Fuschia
  8. Sea-foam Green
  9. Golden Yellow
10. Heather
11. Silver
12. Royal Blue
13. Indigo

Well, there you have it. Thirteen of my very favorite colors. What are your favorite colors?

Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday Musings: Different Definitions of The Lifestyle

I took the week off last week, as work was pretty crazy and I needed some decompression time. Sorry I was gone, but I definitely feel recharged! Now I can talk about the things that happened.

When I use the term "The Lifestyle," I am talking about BDSM and kink. It's what that term means to me, and living in a BDSM dynamic is very important to my everyday life.

When some people use the term "The Lifestyle," they might be talking about swinging. It's what that term means to them, so when I say I live "The Lifestyle," while I mean kink, they might mean swinging.

How confusing is that? Very! But now I'm more aware, and my vocabulary has expanded. There are other swinger terms too, but that one could definitely cause some confusion between lifestyles.

Then again, there are kinksters who swing, swingers who like kink, and some who only choose one of those, or even none of them. Sexuality and our sexual practices can be so fluid and blend into a variety of labels, you can't really stick people into one cubbyhole or another.

This thought came about because I attended an event in my area with Hubby that is mostly promoted towards swingers, but definitely had its share of kinksters, or combinations thereof. There was singing, dancing, some nudity, and tons of fun! But the language was bandied about, on literature (magazines and placards) and in the conversations happening around us.

It was an incredible learning experience, not just for the new definitions in my mental dictionary, but the energy of the people, the space, and all of the different kinds of interactions.

Have you guys ever had experiences that have broadened, or even challenged, previously held ideas? I'd love to hear about them!

Happy Monday!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Friday Deviance: Let's Neck

Playing around the neck, especially rough, can be a bad, bad thing. Dangerous? Oh yes. But in BDSM, we like to flirt with fire (figuratively and literally), which means normally "bad" things can be utilized in play. As always, communication is vital, and if someone has neck issues, I recommend caution, or even avoiding rough neck play altogether. Your mileage may vary.
The neck is such a vulnerable place. When you put your hand against your throat, it's a protective gesture. We touch our necks to soothe ourselves during times of fear or discomfort. We straighten our heads and show off our necks when we feel confident. With your head up, shoulders back, and back straight, the neck is visible, though not offered. It's one of the most vital, sensitive, vulnerable parts of the body. And then we give someone access. That message is very clear. "I trust you not to damage me. You may touch."

Of course, the first real "neck play" is, well, necking! Heavy petting tends to involve lots of contact with the neck. Kisses, nibbles, bites, the sensation of your partner panting in pleasure against that sensitive skin. The nerve endings are so sensitive there, and it's definitely on the foreplay road map for most!

In play, the neck becomes an important tool. A firm hand around the throat, beneath the chin to tilt up your head, can mean, "Pay attention!" or "Focus!" A grip on the back of your neck is more directive, still a very dominant gesture, but it can be soothing or leading, depending on the pressure used, and which direction the dominant party pushes.

When laying down, the messages are slightly different. A hand to the throat when you're on your back can be an order to stay in place, an order to focus, or both at once. Stroking the throat can be a sign of affection and approval. A hand (or shiny, black leather boot...Mmm) to the back of the neck when you're on your belly means "Stay!" or "Submit."

That's merely placement. Then there's pressure, varying degrees of it, though of course one should be quite careful with not putting too much pressure in the wrong spot. Keep pressure very even, and keep in communication about how it feels.

A light caress can be very seductive and very soothing, lulling the submissive partner and giving them more reason to trust. A firm grip can be titillating, attention-getting, and incredibly bonding. It all depends on the energy of the scene.

The dominant isn't the only partner to play in the neck region! There are submissive gestures as well. Lightly kissing, even lightly nibbling, the dominant's neck, nuzzling it and rubbing your face against it, are all more submissive gestures. It also indicates trust from the dominant to the submissive. Remember, the dynamic is a two-way street, even if it looks like only one gives while the other takes.

From gentle caresses to firm interactions, the neck is a source of pleasure, communication, and trust. Use it wisely!

(Image within the text is not mine, but is linked to source)

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: My Top 13 Favorite TV Shows

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

I love television. The shows, the stories, the characters. I get very emotionally attached to the characters, so if anyone dies I am a little devastated. With that said, here's the list of my favorites.

1. Doctor Who - I have watched from 2005 until now, and fell for the 9th Doctor right away. It's a fantastic show, and the top of my list. The rest is really in no particular order, but this one had to go at the top!

2. Firefly - Only 14 episodes (and a movie, but we're talking TV shows), 1 season, and a huge cult following. Firefly is a space western with tons of heart and even more sarcasm! Plus, Nathan Fillion. Need I say more?

3. The Walking Dead - The ultimate in zombie shows, TWD isn't one I first. My husband got me involved in it, and The Talking Dead made me curious about the show. One week and two seasons on Netflix later, and I was well and truly a TWD fan, just in time for the third season to start! Now I'm waiting for the fourth season mid-season premiere, and my patience wears thin.

4. Bones - I'm a bit of a geek. More than a bit. So all the science aspects of this show just really float my boat. Plus, I love the combination of emotional alpha male and intellectual alpha female. I also might have a crush on Angie.

5. Power Rangers - Okay, okay, I know. Kids show. But I grew up watching it, and Power Rangers was my first real exposure to romance with non-cartoon characters. I still like most incarnations of the show, and yes, I watch it on Netflix!

6. Sailor Moon - Another show I grew up watching, it's worth watching over and over and over again. The subbed, not the dubbed, because really, cousins? I'm super excited for the reboot of the anime that premieres this July!

7. Profiler - I don't know if anyone else remembers this show, but I freaking loved it. It was on Court TV when I tuned in, and it enthralled and spooked the hell out of me. There's something about spooky that I still really like.

8. Scandal - This show is genius! Olivia is one of my favorite characters, I am a little in psycho-love with Huck, and the plot twists never stop coming.

9. American Dad - Another show my husband got me to like. I never, ever enjoyed this show before. I also like Family Guy, and even The Cleveland Show, but American Dad is my favorite. I really like Roger as a character, and his snarky humor.

10. Charmed - A show all about witches. When this first came out, there wasn't anything else like it on TV. I was instantly addicted, and this is one of the shows that I watched with my Mama a lot, so it reminds me of her whenever I tune in.

11. Queer as Folk (US) - I started watching this when I was 16 and we actually had Showtime for a few months. It wasn't my first introduction to LGBT, by any means, but I enjoyed the characters, and that there was a TV show that catered to people kinda sorta like me (pansexual).

12. How It's Made - Again, I love to see how things work. This show is practically hypnotizing for me, and I will watch for 3 hours before realizing how much time has passed.

13. Criminal Minds - Another mystery show, heavy on the psychology and investigation into what makes humans tick. A majority of the episodes fascinate me, and I really love the characters. I also completely 'ship Reid/Morgan.

There you have it! My favorite TV shows for all the world to see. What about you guys? What shows had stories, characters, or settings that drew you in?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Musings: Owned by a Dachshund

As you see by the title of this blog, I am currently owned by a dachshund. Actually, my entire family is owned by the dachshund. He has decided to write today's post, we go!

My humans are are many things to me. Cuddle partners. Bringers of food. Holders of the leash as I walk them. Horrible pullers of the leash when I am interested in a sniff across the street and they're going, "CAR!" Whatever that is.

Their schedule revolves around me, which is as it should be. I am older distinguished, and will be turning 14 next month. I insist on a proper brushing to keep my coat nice and shiny. I look like a dog half my age! Seriously, people comment on how young I look in such an admiring fashion that I may, MAY, allow them to pet me.

I likes to sit next to my humans whenever possible. They prop me up and provide cuddling services. Also, I do not sleep, I rest my eyes. I do NOT snore, despite what my owners may claim, I just have loud breathing.

I expects my meals on time, and I shall greet each one by leaping from the chair I graciously share and racing to the bowl. My server may then leave me to eat in peace.

I enjoy long walks through the neighborhood, and do my part to keep my humans in better shape, leading them on non-linear, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey walks. I really do take good care of them.

Finally, at night, they vacate my bed for good and give me a nicely folded cover to burrow into. My humans are good, and I give them the pleasure of my presence, the structure of my schedule, every day. I must be the best owner ever to exist!


*ahem* So, there you have it. A day in the life of a dachshund who owns humans.

Are any of you guys owned by your pets? What sorts of things do they have you do? We must band together!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Writing Books to Read in 2014

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it.

This year, I really want to bone up on some writing skills. I want to find better outlining methods, learn more about the psychology behind stories, and much more! So today, here's a list of the writing books that I would like to read and utilize this year! First I'll go over the ones I own, then the ones I plan to purchase.

1. Wired for Story by Lisa Cron - Owned
2. Outlining Your Novel by K.M. Weiland - Owned
3. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Brown and Dave King - Owned
4. Goal, Motivation, Conflict by Debra Dixon - Owned
5. Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine - Owned
6. Write Every Day by Cathy Yardley - Owned
7. Rock Your Plot by Cathy Yardley - Owned
8. Tips for Authors by Alice Anderson - Owned
9. Structuring Your Novel by K.M. Weiland - Not owned
10. On Writer's Block by Victoria Nelson - Not owned
11. The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned
12. The Negative Trait Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned
13. The Positive Trait Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned

Well, there they are! Books I have and books on my wish list that I can add to my Writer's Toolbox. Any writers out there with other favorites or recommendations? I'd very much like to hear about them!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Monday Musings: Romancing the Brrrr!

I live in Florida. I always have, and I foresee staying here for a long time to come. But recently, I moved from South Florida to Central Florida. You wouldn't think it would be that big of a difference, but you'd be wrong. The mercurial temperatures (yesterday it was 72°F, and tomorrow it'll be 34°F) has been a bit jarring, definitely enough to make me wish I had a better cold-weather wardrobe! 

Still, there are some benefits to beautiful chilly weather. One of my favorites is cuddling. Lots of closeness and grabbing onto my hubby to curl up in his arms. To share our warmth with each other, and to spend some good quality time together.

Human touch is very important, and the more good energy we put behind each touch, the better! Hugging has been shown to improve mood in the same way that laughter does. I know that I get more relaxed with some nice cuddling.

Of course, cuddling can lead to other fun things. *winks*

Any of you taking advantage of the cooler weather for fun times? How do you turn the cold into something warm and romantic? 

Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday Deviance: The Marks of a Kinkster

BDSM is a Lifestyle where marks tend to hold tremendous relevance. There are more temporary ones, like whip and rope marks, which fade relatively quickly. Then there are marks of ownership, like tattoos, brands, or even collars. There are also marks of family, from flags for factions in the community, to patches that signify a Leather Family or BDSM House. But for this post, it's all about the body, and the adornments that go with BDSM.

To me, both sides of the coin are important. The temporary and the permanent, that which fades and that which reminds.

The Temporary: That Which Fades

Bruises from bite marks, a rosy bottom after a paddling, or welts from a whip, can all be part of the endorphin rush that goes along with playing. It's one of my favorite parts of play, though damn my skin, my marks go away almost instantaneously. Still, bruises, bite marks, whip marks, rope marks, all are lovely impressions left on the skin after play that make reliving the experience even easier.

The marks are badges of honor, badges of love, something to be proud of and to show off. Bottoms all around (whether sub, slave, switch, or even Dominant) tend to like to compare and contrast, telling stories of pleasure and pain over meals at munches or across the 'net on message boards.

These marks don't last, which can be sad, but that also leaves a fresh canvas for more memories to find their way, different designs all beautiful in their own way. They are masochistic flowers which bloom for short periods before fading from view.

The Permanent: That Which Reminds

Tattoos. Collars. Brands. These are the more permanent kinds of marks that can last for many years.

Collars, the wedding rings of BDSM, come in many forms. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, all sizes and colors and security levels, but one of the main purposes is to remind one that he or she is owned. Whether or not it CAN easily come off is immaterial. My collar currently takes the form of a necklace which can be unfastened without trouble. It gets taken off only for cleaning and polishing, and then ritualistically placed back around my neck. The rest of the time, it stays where it belongs.

Tattoos. These body mods are very popular, and can be used to mark memorials, to mark life changes, to mark possession...or for fun. I know people who have tattoos just because the design was pretty. I know others who have them as major life moments marked. It depends on the person. Tattoos are nice because of how vivid they are, and a design can be as detailed as you like. On the other side of that, they never go away. This can be good and bad. Relationships don't always last forever. It's something to consider before taking this step.

Branding. Ah, branding. Most think of branding cattle, and hey, maybe it's not too far from that. It can be a mark of ownership, and slaves in BDSM are "property" of their owners. However, for some, it can be a very spiritual experience. And not everyone who gets branded does so for ownership reasons. Like tattoos, branding has gotten popular as a body mod. They are simpler and more elemental than tattoos. Details get lost in brands, so simple line designs are best. The pain of a brand isn't too bad (and I'm seriously a baby when it comes to pain), but every person is different. Still, the experience was very important, special, and spiritual.

It's Personal

In the end, marks are intensely personal. They are different for every person, special in their own way, and can provide an intense amount of pride, either for enduring an ordeal or enjoying a pleasure.

Do any of you have marks that mean something? I'd love to hear your stories!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014 - A New Year

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a lovely evening last night, and that the year has started off as you wish it to!

2013 has been a full year for me, with a move across the state, the release of my novella Feeding the Beast, and the start of this awesome blog of mine! *grins*

It ended with spicy tuna (for good luck, one apparently has to end the year eating fish), sauvignon blanc (surprisingly yummy!) and a slightly drunk kiss from my hubby with the fireworks booming in the distance.

It is a new year, complete with all of its new chances to get things done, make things happen, and create magic on the page! I'm plotting out several stories now, working on Lady of the Pack, and in general making the first day of this new year count.

It's also been raining, which tends to have one of two effects on me: sleepy or inspired. Today, we'll go with inspired!

What chances are you going to take this year? What things will you guys make happen? I'd love to hear from y'all!