Monday, October 20, 2014

Depression and Creativity

Depression is insidious. It makes doing even the things you know you like rather impossible, and the things you have to do like pulling teeth, if you can even do that much. It's something I've dealt with for over half of my life now, and some times are easier than others.

Some days it's hard to put one foot in front of the other, let alone put words into any discernible order. But I'm trying, and I'm doing things that usually help to pull me back up from that dark pit of utter apathy.

So, that's part of why I haven't been 'round much. Health issues, plus depression, equals not much posting from me. I also seem to hibernate in the summertime. The heat really gets to me. Thankfully it's autumn now!

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, trying to write a little more, add to my projects, and participate in online life in addition to offline life. It's just taking me a little bit, but I'm doing it!

Monday, June 2, 2014

Monday Musings: A contract for Her Master's Gift!

I'm quite pleased to announce that Decadent Publishing has offered a contract for Her Master's Gift! I can't explain how excited this makes me, but I might've danced around the living room when I got the news.

I wanted to wait to make the announcement (which came in last week) because my printer decided it didn't want to connect to my new computer, and I wanted the contract signed, sealed, and delivered before making a formal post.

So, I got creative and examined my printer (about 3 years old now), and found the USB drive that allowed me to scan again so that I could actually get my signed contract back to the publisher. *grins* I'd only ever done wireless printing and scanning, but apparently the drivers don't agree with my new computer any longer for the purpose of scanning. Ah well. This new way is actually a bit easier, so that's something!

There's work ahead, from edits to excerpts, but I can't wait to do it, and I know that Decadent is the best home possible for the tale of Katie and Sam's journey of love, lust, and trust.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Reasons for my Game of Thrones Obsession

Welcome to my Thursday-13! The Thursday-13 is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it.

So, I just recently started watching Game of Thrones, the hit show on HBO. I didn't think I'd like it, because though I'm a SFF fan in general, I don't like everything. It's a tossup between what will bore me and what will enthrall me.

So I watched episode 1. And then episode 2. And then my husband and I got into it together, and we're halfway through season 3 at the moment. I'm in love with the stories, the characters, and the sheer emotional torture that is this show. I'm sure at some point I'll also read the books, but that'll come later.

So, why am I so obsessed now? Here you go, from the general to the specific. Beware, if you haven't seen it, SPOILERS further down the list!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Monday Musings: Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Who you are, deep inside, doesn't stop just because you're sick. But sometimes you have to put away the play until you feel well enough to do it again. Not such a big deal when all you have is a cold, and you know you'll get better at some point. But what happens when you're chronically ill? You're not getting better. You feel weird/pained/fatigued/etc. all the time. Your body isn't your own anymore.

I have two conditions that are my primary diagnoses, and Fibromyalgia is one of them. I got diagnosed when I was 15, and it changed my life.

Friday, April 18, 2014

A Mother Lost: Year 2

Today marks two years since I lost my Mama. The best woman I ever knew, the woman who raised me, who taught me how to be strong and to roll with the punches. I'm a Mama's girl, through and through.

I was there, when she passed. Right there with her, just me and her. I'd never seen anyone die before. I wasn't prepared for it at all. She'd been sick all of my life and most of her own, though the cancer was a more recent development. I thought she could beat anything. She always had before. Things that would've killed her, should've killed her, didn't. She survived, and fought with all her strength to keep going.

There's so much I wish she could've been there for. Not just the big things, like my marriage or graduation, but the little things. The everyday things. Until she died, there wasn't a day that passed without us speaking. If we weren't together in person, we were talking on the phone.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Monday Musings: Playing with Rope

We played with rope! MDR and I have some lovely red rope that we like to use, and he decided to practice some things on my feet.  Foot rope bondage can be really useful. Spread the legs, hoist them up, hold them in place...very versatile!

I definitely recommend playing with rope. I don't mean going to classes that teach kinbaku, or even western rope, though those are awesome if you can find any groups in your area that teach. But there's something nice about just getting out rope and doing stuff. Throwing it around, playing with knots you don't know the names of, and just getting the feel of it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A Branding Story: Searing Love

A permanent mark is an important thing in the BDSM world. It can denote ownership, family, and specific bonds that are meant to last forever. A brand is one of these important marks.

I wear my husband, MDR's, brand now, and a very good friend of ours Master O. (and his slave d.) helped make that happen. It began in June of 2013. On FetLife, a group posting let us know that there would be a branding demo in one of our local dungeons. I expressed excitement about that, and our friend posed the option of me being one of the demo bottoms for their presentation on branding. After some conversation, MDR and I agreed that it was a great idea. We even had a design for it!

I made several posts on FetLife going up to the day of the branding. I was so excited, and SO nervous! I mean, I knew the basics of what would happen, but there's no real way to prepare for the sensory experience of someone burning a mark into your skin for the first time.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Monday Musings: 3 Years Collared

The 3rd of April was the anniversary of my collaring in 2011. It's amazing to me that it's been 3 years. It feels like it can't have been that long, while at the same time it feels as if we've been together forever.

My collar is simple: a silver heart-shaped necklace which has my husband's initials on it to proclaim me his girl. It has only been removed for cleaning, and then placed back around my neck, but for the first full year of wearing it, it never left contact with my skin.

It's an important symbol, my collar. It gives me peace and security. A sense of my Owner, always with me, even when we're apart. When life is chaos around me, it's a physical reminder of my place. He also gave it to me at an important time in our lives. You see, he was going to collar me at a kink event, a national one that we'd planned on attending for months. Now, I knew about the event. I had no clue about the collar.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday Musings: Zombies and Edits

Well, it's Monday, so last night I spent my time watching The Walking Dead (and drooled over Andrew Lincoln on The Talking Dead afterwards). It's one of my favorite shows, and the finale definitely lived up to some of my hopes and dreams. I was cheering at certain parts, and if anyone else saw the finale, they probably know exactly which ones!

Now, come Autumn, the season 5 premiere had better have lots of carnage and bloodshed. Funny enough, not every episode has lots of it. It's due! So come on TWD writers, give the fans what we so desire!

In other news, I'm progressing on the edits and expansion of Her Master's Gift, and foresee 3000 words or more added to the original word count total. Between writing and the Lifestyle, the experiences I've gained since I first wrote the story add an additional depth I feel will be appreciated. I'm also having tons of fun with these additions!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

From Hearts on Fire Reviews - 2.5 stars “A fun, sexy little read.”

Hey guys! Well, Feeding the Beast has received its first review from Vivian at Hearts on Fire Reviews. I thank her for the time spent reading and writing her thoughts about the story down. 

Author: Dena Celeste
Reviewed by: Vivian
Publisher: Amber Quill Press, LLC
Genre: M/F/F
ISBN 13: N/A
Rating: ★★½☆☆ 
Naomi has always been one of the most submissive members of her pack. It is for that reason that she has received the honor of becoming the Stigma, a rank higher than any she could have expected, but one that requires a certain spirit in the one who serves. Marked by Eric, the Master of her pack, Naomi will serve through sex, blood, and the utter willingness to submit.
Jewel is the Mistress of the pack. Mated to Eric, she is now bound for months without being able to shift forms. Her inner-wolf must be given an outlet in order to maintain harmony in the pack. The Stigma feeds her beast, her soul, and tames what is otherwise untamable. Jewel must come together with Naomi in a partnership that requires no boundaries for her trapped wolf.
From bondage in the cabin to erotic moonlit hunts through the woods, Jewel and Naomi take each other on a journey through the nights of the full moon. But when the nights come to an end, Jewel has to decide whether Naomi is the best choice for feeding the beast within…
Genres: Lesbian / Dark Fantasy / Werewolf / Ménage (F/F/M) / Group Sex / Bisexual (F/F) / BDSM / Exhibitionism / Public Places

Monday, March 24, 2014

Monday Musings: Weekend editing snippet

Well, it was a mostly quiet weekend. Yesterday I got to dedicate myself to edits on Her Master's Gift, and I am very excited about how it's coming along! With over 1000 words in new material, but the charm of the familiar characters, the expansion is doing well. I'm hoping to complete these edits over the next few weeks, barring catastrophe.

Of course, you guys know Murphy's Law, right? *grins*

In honor of the editing, and because you guys are awesome, I'm posting a little snippet of Her Master's Gift! Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Floggus Interruptus: Pets Don't Understand Privacy

So, we made our lovely paracord floggers, and decided to test one out. (It felt awesome, by the way!)

It's really hard to have a nice flogging session when our dog comes out to investigate our noise with these huge, shining brown eyes that look so concerned, and a hesitant little tail wag that speaks volumes. Like he's asking, "Daddy, what are you doing to mommy?"

It's kinda hard to maintain that sexy mood with all that uncertainty radiating out from him. So instead we comfort him and have a cuddle pile while we watch a movie.

Ah, the glamorous kinky lives we lead. grins

Monday, March 17, 2014

Monday Musings: Paracord Floggers and Knives

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Kiss me, I'm...well, part Irish somewhere.

It's been an interesting few weeks! Once again, the day job has had me swamped, but that's okay! I persevere. And get perverse, but that's another topic altogether.

This weekend hubby and I went shopping at Wal-Mart. We went there for fabric softener, mints, and Listerine. We wound up getting that, plus a few extras. You know how it goes, plus, I again fail at browsing. Actually, this time we both did, so it's not completely my fault.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Monday Musings: I fail at browsing

So, my previous computer, a lovely little HP laptop, has been retired. It refused to consistently register the internet via either wi-fi or ethernet, and at 4 years old, wasn't running the way it needed to. The way I needed it to, for my work-work and my writing work.

Yesterday, hubby and I went out to "browse" for my new computer. You know, price check, compare, etc. We found the perfect computer, for a really fantastic price (compared to the prices of lesser machines I found online), and bought it immediately.

We don't browse well. We had similar experiences when shopping for our respective wedding rings (at 2 different stores!). We said, "Oh, we'll go browse. No pressure to buy now." Of course, this led us to find our perfect rings. Yeah. We can't browse.

Back to the new computer. I love new gadgets, but I always feel so bad for the old ones! I loved my old computer, and I feel this sense of guilt. It's been through so much with me. Through school and the writing of many stories, through the long distance portion of mine and hubby's much!

As for this new shiny toy, I have nifty new programs on it to play with, and will try to only take a day or two of getting easily distracted by things like the games. I also have the new version of Microsoft Office, and have been playing with Word and Excel for a couple hours now. I like them!

Hopefully one day I'll learn how to browse, but until least I got the computer I needed rather quickly.

What about you guys? Any new gadgets, or any who also fail at browsing?

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: My 13 Recent Fascinations

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

It's been awhile since my last Thursday Thirteen. Sorry! My day job has been a bit consuming, and that's left little time for the kind of blogging I want to do.

So, this week is about my current fascinations. I get very focused on certain things, and they tend to hold my interest for a good amount of time.

1. Natural products - I'm exploring the use of products made from all natural ingredients, with no synthetics. My skin, while it doesn't mark for anything from floggers or rope, is very sensitive to soaps and perfumes. From my scalp to my toes, it's not thrilled with most products. I've recently found a couple of places worth exploring, and now I'm ordering all sorts of samples!

2. Stitch 'n Bitch Crochet - I finally got this book in from the library. I've gotten 3 hats and a scarf done, and well! But I still don't know the crochet code, that language all crochet patterns are written in. So, this book is helping me learn!

3. Queer as Folk - It's on Netflix! Huzzah! Hubby and I are watching it, and it's been fantastic. The show is hot and hilarious and dramatic.

4. Editing - I know I wrote about it on Monday, but printing out my previously published tale has been fantastic. I'm having a ton of fun making changes and adding more descriptive content!

5. Dachshunds - Well, specifically my doxie. He turned 14 a bit over a week ago, and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can. But also, cute doxie videos online! Go look, they're hilarious!

6. Rope - Well, hubby created some "rope stocks" on the bed which actually serve to hold me in place. I'm a bit of an escape artist, so that's saying something! Now to add them at the top of the bed, and then apply toys.

7. Smashwords - Oh, Smashwords, how do I love thee? *grins* It's very nice to see that my free stories are being read, or at the very least downloaded a lot! Nearly 400 downloads and counting!

8. Music - I've been listening to more music lately, and I must say, it gives me a buzz. Especially happy, bouncy, exciting music. It encouraged me to do research on whether one can get high off of music, and apparently, one can!

9. Kink Events - This relates to rope, in that hubby and I went to a kink event awhile ago, and it was really nice. We're planning on more for March, and I really look forward to it.

10. Star charts - Yes, star charts, like you get for elementary school kids. Hubby and I have been using them, partly for power exchange reasons, partly because it's really nice to keep track of the accomplishments, small and large. Get work done? Star! Do the household stuff you really hate to do? Star! Get enough stars? Let's make sure to set aside time/money/whatever for this little thing we like. Focusing on the positives has been a really good daily exercise!

11. Aussie fiction - When I read, I get a bit of a movie in my head. I'm having a lot of fun reading new author Jessie L. Star, and plan to read more Aussie and Kiwi fiction to get my fix of that accent and word usage in my head.

12. Self-publishing - I've not yet really done much in the vein of self-publishing. The closest I've come is having my free stories on Smashwords. With my experience on there, I'm considering it more and more for some of my harder-to-place tales!

13. Branding and body art - I can't afford a really good quality tattoo as of yet, but I do want to get my one piece of body art - my brand - touched up, perhaps on the 1 year anniversary of receiving it, or thereabouts. I also am in the process of writing a post about my brand for one of my Friday Deviance posts. Be on the lookout!

There you have it. My interests-cum-obsessions for the past few weeks! What about you guys? Any new or renewed interests recently?

Monday, February 24, 2014

Monday Musings: Editing and a Smashing Success

It's been pretty wicked with my day job lately, so my updates have been few, and my ability to edit the way I really, really need to has been limited. I fixed it though! With printer paper.

I am revising Her Master's Gift, one page at a time, and it's going beautifully. I have a clipboard, my trusty pencil, and the story, and that's really all I need. I can't seem to edit well on the screen, but I like being able to scribble and cross things out, and see how things's like a puzzle of words!

While you guys await HMG (with bated breath, I'm sure), I have taken this opportunity to post my FREE stories Astral Lovers and Servant of the Sun on Smashwords! And it's been fantastic. With over 300 downloads combined in just three days, I have been jumping up and down with glee!

Here are the links to both stories, and I sincerely hope you guys enjoy them:

So that's about it for now. Bogged down by day-job woes, but you won't see me giving up!

How's everyone doing this fine Monday? Anything new and interesting? I'd love to hear about it!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Monday Musings: Pervertible objects

Valentine's Day has passed, and we have loot! Well, a little loot. In the form of a very long canvas belt from a store at the mall, which we shall soon use for perverse purposes. It's perfect!

What purposes can a belt like this be used for? Well, it could be an at-home chastity belt. It could be a tie-point (or twelve, with all those holes) for rope. It could also be a form of bondage all on its own.

It's important to see the sexy in everyday objects. Not all of us can afford some of the more expensive toys, and sometimes it's nice to view that bamboo cutting board, a set of keys, a ruler, or even a belt, in a creative light.

How's everyone this Monday? Got any pervertible tips of your own? 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Friday Deviance - Kink and Romance

Romance comes in many different flavors. In BDSM, "being romantic" might mean any number of different things.

Your lover might give you flowers, and long, drugging kisses. Or your lover might grab you by the hair, dip you back, and ravage your mouth.

You might give your paramour a pretty, romantic Hallmark card. Or you might make something by hand that includes a ton of sparkles and hand-drawn hearts.

It could mean a long night of hot, smokin' sex, or a scene that involves whips, floggers, and maybe even a sex toy or two.

In the world of kink, we sometimes go into it because it's not soft, not slow, and definitely not traditionally romantic. But there's something about bringing a little romance into things, especially if you love and are in love with your partner. Showing romance with kinky sprinkles added can add a new dimension to kink, a heady flavor to an already intense experience. And if your roses come with thorns on purpose...who's to say that isn't romance?

It can also give people a chance to fly their freak flag a little higher! Giving your partner a little something extra on V-day isn't unusual at all, and discussing your fantasies over some chocolate covered strawberries can be some of the best foreplay.

So, with all that said, I hope you have a very sexy Valentine's Day, whatever your level of kink, and whatever your relationship status. Seduction begins with you!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Monday Musings: Yay rope bondage!

Today marks a year and a half of marriage for me and hubby. Yay! We're really happy, and have had some exciting, awesome times during our marriage! Here's to hoping for many more!

This past week, my hubby and I were able to attend a rope event in our area. I must say, it was good to get back into a location with kinky folks. As interesting as the swinging event the other week was (and yes, we'll probably be going back), kink is our comfort zone. We understand the protocols, what's allowed and what's not, whether we know everyone there or not.

Rope is very versatile, and to be honest, we don't do the fancy kinbaku (shibari) style rope at this point. While beautiful, we haven't the time, nor the space, to do that. What we do have is the ability to use simple ties and the force of the rope against itself to create incredible bondage that doesn't remain static unless we want it to. It's inspiring, to play with rope together, and to have it act as a conduit for our energy, back and forth, his and mine running along to each other.

Any anniversaries happening for you guys? What about forays into rope bondage, either in real life or fiction? I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: Top 13 Fetish Fiction Books

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

My journey into BDSM was not sudden. It was a combination of factors, actions and realizations on my part of what I really wanted. There were hints of it here and there, but what set off the light bulb was a book. How surprising, yes? *grins* 

Now, these books are in no particular order, but I do adore all of them. For their own reasons, they have a special place in my heart, and inspire me every time I re-read them. Most have the distinction of being part of my initial journey into BDSM, giving my thoughts and fantasies new life as I explored.

 1. Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey
- Set in a Renaissance-era alternate universe, this world introduced me to sacred sexuality and BDSM in a whole new way. Pain and pleasure intertwine in such a way where pleasure is excruciating and pain the ultimate release. 

 2. Natural Law by Joey W. Hill
- The first book I ever read by Joey W. Hill was Natural Law. This introduced me to my favorite Fem Dom/male sub dynamic in fiction, and the characters and plot were so engaging, I couldn't put it down. That time, or any other time I read it. The rest of the Nature of Desire series is a must-read!

 3. Bent by Sean Michael
- This book is intense, one of the more intense, strictly Master/slave novels I've read. There's a ton of sex, which is awesome, but also a lot of character growth and development, and the trust that develops is really beautiful. The rest of The Hammer series is also well worth reading.

 4. Secret Submission by Diana Hunter
- Ah, this book. This was the first explicitly BDSM fiction book I ever read (first published 2004), and it really helped the light bulb go off in my head. Ooooh, so THAT makes sense now.

 5. Power Exchange by Madeline Oh
- Another special power exchange book, where trust headlines, and a submissive woman develops in the capable hands of her dominant partner.

 6. Golden Boy, Golden Man by Claire Thompson
- Claire Thompson has enviable skill at writing power exchange. This story of an imperfect dominant man and his earnest submissive just sizzles. It also shows how important limits are, in a world where many limits are pushed to the max.

 7. Special Delivery by Heidi Cullinan
- The power exchange in this tale is at times very obvious, and at times more subtle, but the story keeps going, and I keep getting more and more wrapped up. I love that the communication between the two characters is always happening, sometimes with some misfires, but always to progress the relationship. And, as we all know, communication is the foundation of a good relationship, especially a kinky one.

 8. Training to Pleasure by Julian Masters
- This books is amazing. The detail and emotion as the submissive goes through her training, learning to trust, learning to let go of her previous ideas of what it would really mean to belong to someone this way, was so intense. Still one of my favorites.

 9. The Experiment by Elliot Mabeuse
- Elliot Mabeuse has an interesting writing style, and an equally interesting mind for kink. While not traditional kink, the power dynamic in his story is undeniable.

10. Dark Elves 1: Taken by Jet Mykles
- This one, well, it's just really hot. I have fairly high standards for my fantasy, but there was something about the elves... *grins* And it's part of a series that is equally hot.

11. Ice Queen/Mirror of my Soul by Joey W. Hill
- Yep, more Joey W. Hill. She is just amazing at writing realistic characters who breathe in your heart long after you put the book down. These two stories go together, and a woman's journey from pure dominant to switch is just amazing. (This is also part of her Nature of Desire series)

12. Dolphin Dreams by Jules Jones
- This book is incredibly unique. Dolphin shifters, M/M/M, and kink. It's a lot, and it's all beautifully executed. I was fascinated, and to this day still am.

13. Master/slave edited by N.T. Morley
- I love this book because there are 30 tales ON each side, FROM each side. It's such a nifty configuration, and the cover art is beautiful. It's a must have for your kinky fiction collection!

What are your favorite fetish-oriented fiction books? From the light to the heavy, I'd love to hear about them all!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Monday Musings: Exploring new genres

It's been a pretty quiet week, all things considered. I've been enjoying my foray into the yWriter software for putting together my new story Where Angels Dare to Tread. It's in a whole new world, which is interesting for me to play with. I mean, I've written contemporary and paranormal, but everything has happened on good ol' planet Earth! Now my characters are all in a strange world where things work a little differently.

Now, not only have I been exploring in my writing, but also in my reading! I love many genres, but I tend toward those that include some elements of romance. This last week, I veered away from my usual genres (romance, erotica, paranormal, contemporary), to a different book. And I loved it! A Soldier's Duty by Jean Johnson is a military science fiction novel, and the lead character Ia is completely engaging! The details are amazing, and Jean Johnson's skills at world-building are still some of the best I've seen. I was so enthralled with this book that it traveled everywhere with me so that if I came to a spare moment, I could find out what happened next!

So that's about it for my week. I'll be working on more writing this week, in Angels as well as Lady of the Pack, which I will be moving over to yWriter in order to be better organized. Also, I'm revising Her Master's Gift a bit, and I'm very excited to revisit these awesome characters.

Hope you guys are having a great Monday! Have any of you explored new genres, in reading, writing, or even movies? I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: My Top 13 Favorite Colors

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

I have this tendency to anthropomorphize inanimate objects, including computers, household appliances, vegetables at the store, the car, and even colors. It's something I did as a child, and I just never really stopped. It may sound crazy, but I'm okay with that. *grins*  With that said...

I don't believe in liking just one color. The other colors then get sad that they weren't picked, and then you have to deal with that guilt every time you see crayons, markers, and rainbows. And really, who wants to deal with that kind of guilt?

My favorite colors are as follows:

  1. Royal Purple
  2. Maroon
  3. Spring Green
  4. Blood Red
  5. Raven Black (the kind that glints blue in the light)
  6. Periwinkle
  7. Fuschia
  8. Sea-foam Green
  9. Golden Yellow
10. Heather
11. Silver
12. Royal Blue
13. Indigo

Well, there you have it. Thirteen of my very favorite colors. What are your favorite colors?

Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday Musings: Different Definitions of The Lifestyle

I took the week off last week, as work was pretty crazy and I needed some decompression time. Sorry I was gone, but I definitely feel recharged! Now I can talk about the things that happened.

When I use the term "The Lifestyle," I am talking about BDSM and kink. It's what that term means to me, and living in a BDSM dynamic is very important to my everyday life.

When some people use the term "The Lifestyle," they might be talking about swinging. It's what that term means to them, so when I say I live "The Lifestyle," while I mean kink, they might mean swinging.

How confusing is that? Very! But now I'm more aware, and my vocabulary has expanded. There are other swinger terms too, but that one could definitely cause some confusion between lifestyles.

Then again, there are kinksters who swing, swingers who like kink, and some who only choose one of those, or even none of them. Sexuality and our sexual practices can be so fluid and blend into a variety of labels, you can't really stick people into one cubbyhole or another.

This thought came about because I attended an event in my area with Hubby that is mostly promoted towards swingers, but definitely had its share of kinksters, or combinations thereof. There was singing, dancing, some nudity, and tons of fun! But the language was bandied about, on literature (magazines and placards) and in the conversations happening around us.

It was an incredible learning experience, not just for the new definitions in my mental dictionary, but the energy of the people, the space, and all of the different kinds of interactions.

Have you guys ever had experiences that have broadened, or even challenged, previously held ideas? I'd love to hear about them!

Happy Monday!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Friday Deviance: Let's Neck

Playing around the neck, especially rough, can be a bad, bad thing. Dangerous? Oh yes. But in BDSM, we like to flirt with fire (figuratively and literally), which means normally "bad" things can be utilized in play. As always, communication is vital, and if someone has neck issues, I recommend caution, or even avoiding rough neck play altogether. Your mileage may vary.
The neck is such a vulnerable place. When you put your hand against your throat, it's a protective gesture. We touch our necks to soothe ourselves during times of fear or discomfort. We straighten our heads and show off our necks when we feel confident. With your head up, shoulders back, and back straight, the neck is visible, though not offered. It's one of the most vital, sensitive, vulnerable parts of the body. And then we give someone access. That message is very clear. "I trust you not to damage me. You may touch."

Of course, the first real "neck play" is, well, necking! Heavy petting tends to involve lots of contact with the neck. Kisses, nibbles, bites, the sensation of your partner panting in pleasure against that sensitive skin. The nerve endings are so sensitive there, and it's definitely on the foreplay road map for most!

In play, the neck becomes an important tool. A firm hand around the throat, beneath the chin to tilt up your head, can mean, "Pay attention!" or "Focus!" A grip on the back of your neck is more directive, still a very dominant gesture, but it can be soothing or leading, depending on the pressure used, and which direction the dominant party pushes.

When laying down, the messages are slightly different. A hand to the throat when you're on your back can be an order to stay in place, an order to focus, or both at once. Stroking the throat can be a sign of affection and approval. A hand (or shiny, black leather boot...Mmm) to the back of the neck when you're on your belly means "Stay!" or "Submit."

That's merely placement. Then there's pressure, varying degrees of it, though of course one should be quite careful with not putting too much pressure in the wrong spot. Keep pressure very even, and keep in communication about how it feels.

A light caress can be very seductive and very soothing, lulling the submissive partner and giving them more reason to trust. A firm grip can be titillating, attention-getting, and incredibly bonding. It all depends on the energy of the scene.

The dominant isn't the only partner to play in the neck region! There are submissive gestures as well. Lightly kissing, even lightly nibbling, the dominant's neck, nuzzling it and rubbing your face against it, are all more submissive gestures. It also indicates trust from the dominant to the submissive. Remember, the dynamic is a two-way street, even if it looks like only one gives while the other takes.

From gentle caresses to firm interactions, the neck is a source of pleasure, communication, and trust. Use it wisely!

(Image within the text is not mine, but is linked to source)

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: My Top 13 Favorite TV Shows

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it!

I love television. The shows, the stories, the characters. I get very emotionally attached to the characters, so if anyone dies I am a little devastated. With that said, here's the list of my favorites.

1. Doctor Who - I have watched from 2005 until now, and fell for the 9th Doctor right away. It's a fantastic show, and the top of my list. The rest is really in no particular order, but this one had to go at the top!

2. Firefly - Only 14 episodes (and a movie, but we're talking TV shows), 1 season, and a huge cult following. Firefly is a space western with tons of heart and even more sarcasm! Plus, Nathan Fillion. Need I say more?

3. The Walking Dead - The ultimate in zombie shows, TWD isn't one I first. My husband got me involved in it, and The Talking Dead made me curious about the show. One week and two seasons on Netflix later, and I was well and truly a TWD fan, just in time for the third season to start! Now I'm waiting for the fourth season mid-season premiere, and my patience wears thin.

4. Bones - I'm a bit of a geek. More than a bit. So all the science aspects of this show just really float my boat. Plus, I love the combination of emotional alpha male and intellectual alpha female. I also might have a crush on Angie.

5. Power Rangers - Okay, okay, I know. Kids show. But I grew up watching it, and Power Rangers was my first real exposure to romance with non-cartoon characters. I still like most incarnations of the show, and yes, I watch it on Netflix!

6. Sailor Moon - Another show I grew up watching, it's worth watching over and over and over again. The subbed, not the dubbed, because really, cousins? I'm super excited for the reboot of the anime that premieres this July!

7. Profiler - I don't know if anyone else remembers this show, but I freaking loved it. It was on Court TV when I tuned in, and it enthralled and spooked the hell out of me. There's something about spooky that I still really like.

8. Scandal - This show is genius! Olivia is one of my favorite characters, I am a little in psycho-love with Huck, and the plot twists never stop coming.

9. American Dad - Another show my husband got me to like. I never, ever enjoyed this show before. I also like Family Guy, and even The Cleveland Show, but American Dad is my favorite. I really like Roger as a character, and his snarky humor.

10. Charmed - A show all about witches. When this first came out, there wasn't anything else like it on TV. I was instantly addicted, and this is one of the shows that I watched with my Mama a lot, so it reminds me of her whenever I tune in.

11. Queer as Folk (US) - I started watching this when I was 16 and we actually had Showtime for a few months. It wasn't my first introduction to LGBT, by any means, but I enjoyed the characters, and that there was a TV show that catered to people kinda sorta like me (pansexual).

12. How It's Made - Again, I love to see how things work. This show is practically hypnotizing for me, and I will watch for 3 hours before realizing how much time has passed.

13. Criminal Minds - Another mystery show, heavy on the psychology and investigation into what makes humans tick. A majority of the episodes fascinate me, and I really love the characters. I also completely 'ship Reid/Morgan.

There you have it! My favorite TV shows for all the world to see. What about you guys? What shows had stories, characters, or settings that drew you in?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Musings: Owned by a Dachshund

As you see by the title of this blog, I am currently owned by a dachshund. Actually, my entire family is owned by the dachshund. He has decided to write today's post, we go!

My humans are are many things to me. Cuddle partners. Bringers of food. Holders of the leash as I walk them. Horrible pullers of the leash when I am interested in a sniff across the street and they're going, "CAR!" Whatever that is.

Their schedule revolves around me, which is as it should be. I am older distinguished, and will be turning 14 next month. I insist on a proper brushing to keep my coat nice and shiny. I look like a dog half my age! Seriously, people comment on how young I look in such an admiring fashion that I may, MAY, allow them to pet me.

I likes to sit next to my humans whenever possible. They prop me up and provide cuddling services. Also, I do not sleep, I rest my eyes. I do NOT snore, despite what my owners may claim, I just have loud breathing.

I expects my meals on time, and I shall greet each one by leaping from the chair I graciously share and racing to the bowl. My server may then leave me to eat in peace.

I enjoy long walks through the neighborhood, and do my part to keep my humans in better shape, leading them on non-linear, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey walks. I really do take good care of them.

Finally, at night, they vacate my bed for good and give me a nicely folded cover to burrow into. My humans are good, and I give them the pleasure of my presence, the structure of my schedule, every day. I must be the best owner ever to exist!


*ahem* So, there you have it. A day in the life of a dachshund who owns humans.

Are any of you guys owned by your pets? What sorts of things do they have you do? We must band together!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Writing Books to Read in 2014

Thursday Thirteen is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it.

This year, I really want to bone up on some writing skills. I want to find better outlining methods, learn more about the psychology behind stories, and much more! So today, here's a list of the writing books that I would like to read and utilize this year! First I'll go over the ones I own, then the ones I plan to purchase.

1. Wired for Story by Lisa Cron - Owned
2. Outlining Your Novel by K.M. Weiland - Owned
3. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Brown and Dave King - Owned
4. Goal, Motivation, Conflict by Debra Dixon - Owned
5. Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine - Owned
6. Write Every Day by Cathy Yardley - Owned
7. Rock Your Plot by Cathy Yardley - Owned
8. Tips for Authors by Alice Anderson - Owned
9. Structuring Your Novel by K.M. Weiland - Not owned
10. On Writer's Block by Victoria Nelson - Not owned
11. The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned
12. The Negative Trait Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned
13. The Positive Trait Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman - Not owned

Well, there they are! Books I have and books on my wish list that I can add to my Writer's Toolbox. Any writers out there with other favorites or recommendations? I'd very much like to hear about them!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Monday Musings: Romancing the Brrrr!

I live in Florida. I always have, and I foresee staying here for a long time to come. But recently, I moved from South Florida to Central Florida. You wouldn't think it would be that big of a difference, but you'd be wrong. The mercurial temperatures (yesterday it was 72°F, and tomorrow it'll be 34°F) has been a bit jarring, definitely enough to make me wish I had a better cold-weather wardrobe! 

Still, there are some benefits to beautiful chilly weather. One of my favorites is cuddling. Lots of closeness and grabbing onto my hubby to curl up in his arms. To share our warmth with each other, and to spend some good quality time together.

Human touch is very important, and the more good energy we put behind each touch, the better! Hugging has been shown to improve mood in the same way that laughter does. I know that I get more relaxed with some nice cuddling.

Of course, cuddling can lead to other fun things. *winks*

Any of you taking advantage of the cooler weather for fun times? How do you turn the cold into something warm and romantic? 

Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday Deviance: The Marks of a Kinkster

BDSM is a Lifestyle where marks tend to hold tremendous relevance. There are more temporary ones, like whip and rope marks, which fade relatively quickly. Then there are marks of ownership, like tattoos, brands, or even collars. There are also marks of family, from flags for factions in the community, to patches that signify a Leather Family or BDSM House. But for this post, it's all about the body, and the adornments that go with BDSM.

To me, both sides of the coin are important. The temporary and the permanent, that which fades and that which reminds.

The Temporary: That Which Fades

Bruises from bite marks, a rosy bottom after a paddling, or welts from a whip, can all be part of the endorphin rush that goes along with playing. It's one of my favorite parts of play, though damn my skin, my marks go away almost instantaneously. Still, bruises, bite marks, whip marks, rope marks, all are lovely impressions left on the skin after play that make reliving the experience even easier.

The marks are badges of honor, badges of love, something to be proud of and to show off. Bottoms all around (whether sub, slave, switch, or even Dominant) tend to like to compare and contrast, telling stories of pleasure and pain over meals at munches or across the 'net on message boards.

These marks don't last, which can be sad, but that also leaves a fresh canvas for more memories to find their way, different designs all beautiful in their own way. They are masochistic flowers which bloom for short periods before fading from view.

The Permanent: That Which Reminds

Tattoos. Collars. Brands. These are the more permanent kinds of marks that can last for many years.

Collars, the wedding rings of BDSM, come in many forms. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, all sizes and colors and security levels, but one of the main purposes is to remind one that he or she is owned. Whether or not it CAN easily come off is immaterial. My collar currently takes the form of a necklace which can be unfastened without trouble. It gets taken off only for cleaning and polishing, and then ritualistically placed back around my neck. The rest of the time, it stays where it belongs.

Tattoos. These body mods are very popular, and can be used to mark memorials, to mark life changes, to mark possession...or for fun. I know people who have tattoos just because the design was pretty. I know others who have them as major life moments marked. It depends on the person. Tattoos are nice because of how vivid they are, and a design can be as detailed as you like. On the other side of that, they never go away. This can be good and bad. Relationships don't always last forever. It's something to consider before taking this step.

Branding. Ah, branding. Most think of branding cattle, and hey, maybe it's not too far from that. It can be a mark of ownership, and slaves in BDSM are "property" of their owners. However, for some, it can be a very spiritual experience. And not everyone who gets branded does so for ownership reasons. Like tattoos, branding has gotten popular as a body mod. They are simpler and more elemental than tattoos. Details get lost in brands, so simple line designs are best. The pain of a brand isn't too bad (and I'm seriously a baby when it comes to pain), but every person is different. Still, the experience was very important, special, and spiritual.

It's Personal

In the end, marks are intensely personal. They are different for every person, special in their own way, and can provide an intense amount of pride, either for enduring an ordeal or enjoying a pleasure.

Do any of you have marks that mean something? I'd love to hear your stories!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014 - A New Year

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a lovely evening last night, and that the year has started off as you wish it to!

2013 has been a full year for me, with a move across the state, the release of my novella Feeding the Beast, and the start of this awesome blog of mine! *grins*

It ended with spicy tuna (for good luck, one apparently has to end the year eating fish), sauvignon blanc (surprisingly yummy!) and a slightly drunk kiss from my hubby with the fireworks booming in the distance.

It is a new year, complete with all of its new chances to get things done, make things happen, and create magic on the page! I'm plotting out several stories now, working on Lady of the Pack, and in general making the first day of this new year count.

It's also been raining, which tends to have one of two effects on me: sleepy or inspired. Today, we'll go with inspired!

What chances are you going to take this year? What things will you guys make happen? I'd love to hear from y'all!