Monday, April 7, 2014

Monday Musings: 3 Years Collared

The 3rd of April was the anniversary of my collaring in 2011. It's amazing to me that it's been 3 years. It feels like it can't have been that long, while at the same time it feels as if we've been together forever.

My collar is simple: a silver heart-shaped necklace which has my husband's initials on it to proclaim me his girl. It has only been removed for cleaning, and then placed back around my neck, but for the first full year of wearing it, it never left contact with my skin.

It's an important symbol, my collar. It gives me peace and security. A sense of my Owner, always with me, even when we're apart. When life is chaos around me, it's a physical reminder of my place. He also gave it to me at an important time in our lives. You see, he was going to collar me at a kink event, a national one that we'd planned on attending for months. Now, I knew about the event. I had no clue about the collar.

But my Mama got sick. She had to go into the hospital. She had to have surgery. I couldn't go to some kink event with one of the best people in my life sick and scared. Needless to say, MDR wasn't about to go alone, and so we stayed at my house, and between school and work and visits, it took up some of our time. I still didn't know about the collar.

The 3rd of April could've been a really, really bad day with no redeeming qualities. I got a call from Mama, and she had bad news.

"They said it's cancer."

I tried to be strong for her on the phone, and later on when we visited. But after I hung up, I sobbed. I was weak in the knees, and my heart was breaking. I was terrified. My Mama was the best person I knew. How could she have cancer? It wasn't fair!

MDR comforted me for hours, just holding me and listening to me talk. Once I was calmer, he said he'd brought a surprise. I tilted my head. "What surprise?"

"Well, I was going to give this to you at the event, but since we're not going...I still want you to have it." He'd had it made sometime in March, and was just waiting for the right time.

Right there, by the dining room table, in the midst of sun beams, he collared me. It was simple, without much in the way of ceremony and officiousness. But it fit us, and our personalities, and the situation at the time. Maybe the timing was less than "convenient" isn't really convenient either.

I needed the extra security for the hard times to come, and I must say, it helped me keep hold of myself for the months we spent apart (long distance relationships are hard!), while I took care of Mama as best I could, finished school, and continued working. And when we lost Mama...I held onto it like a lifeline until he could come to me, as my entire world fell apart. But that experience is another story altogether.

8 months and 5 days after we met, and now 3 years after that. I'm owned, quite happily. We're married! And since being married, we are finally together full time.

Acknowledging these special steps in our relationship just helps to reaffirm the rightness of our decisions every step of the way.

Any special anniversaries for you guys? I'd love to hear about them!

Happy Monday everyone!


Mai said...

🎉that's so beautiful! HappyAnniversary to y'all & many more.

Unknown said...

@Mai - Thank you so much for the wishes, and for commenting! *hugs*