Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Musings: Owned by a Dachshund

As you see by the title of this blog, I am currently owned by a dachshund. Actually, my entire family is owned by the dachshund. He has decided to write today's post, we go!

My humans are are many things to me. Cuddle partners. Bringers of food. Holders of the leash as I walk them. Horrible pullers of the leash when I am interested in a sniff across the street and they're going, "CAR!" Whatever that is.

Their schedule revolves around me, which is as it should be. I am older distinguished, and will be turning 14 next month. I insist on a proper brushing to keep my coat nice and shiny. I look like a dog half my age! Seriously, people comment on how young I look in such an admiring fashion that I may, MAY, allow them to pet me.

I likes to sit next to my humans whenever possible. They prop me up and provide cuddling services. Also, I do not sleep, I rest my eyes. I do NOT snore, despite what my owners may claim, I just have loud breathing.

I expects my meals on time, and I shall greet each one by leaping from the chair I graciously share and racing to the bowl. My server may then leave me to eat in peace.

I enjoy long walks through the neighborhood, and do my part to keep my humans in better shape, leading them on non-linear, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey walks. I really do take good care of them.

Finally, at night, they vacate my bed for good and give me a nicely folded cover to burrow into. My humans are good, and I give them the pleasure of my presence, the structure of my schedule, every day. I must be the best owner ever to exist!


*ahem* So, there you have it. A day in the life of a dachshund who owns humans.

Are any of you guys owned by your pets? What sorts of things do they have you do? We must band together!


Dakota Trace said...

I'm definitely owned by my pup...and have been since the first time she whined at the foot of the bed because she was too little to jump up onto it. Now eight years later she still insists on sleeping with Mommy.


Paul McDermott said...

Dena, I thought EVERYBODY knew this:

Dogs have Masters.
CATS have Staff ...

Unknown said...

@Dakota Trace - Aww! Yeah, my pup did that with my Mama. He slept with her until the day before she passed away. Now, of course, he expects to be with me often. Unless he wants to be with someone else, and then I don't exist. ;P

@Paul McDermott - Hehe, well, apparently my dachshund is a cat in a dogsuit, because he has staff too!

Unknown said...

I am allergic to cats, but we do have an Axolotl... he doesn't do anything cheeky, not surprising considering he lives in a tank, but he is adorable in his own little way!

Unknown said...

@Bree - Aww, those are too cute! And I'm allergic to cats too, pretty severely. Any contact and my eyes and throat swell nearly shut. It makes me sad because I like cats!

Christine said...

Awww! I miss you, puppy. For such a distinguished little gentleman, you are so HAPPY and EXCITED and TAIL WAGGING. I kisses your nose.