Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday Deviance: The Marks of a Kinkster

BDSM is a Lifestyle where marks tend to hold tremendous relevance. There are more temporary ones, like whip and rope marks, which fade relatively quickly. Then there are marks of ownership, like tattoos, brands, or even collars. There are also marks of family, from flags for factions in the community, to patches that signify a Leather Family or BDSM House. But for this post, it's all about the body, and the adornments that go with BDSM.

To me, both sides of the coin are important. The temporary and the permanent, that which fades and that which reminds.

The Temporary: That Which Fades



Bruises from bite marks, a rosy bottom after a paddling, or welts from a whip, can all be part of the endorphin rush that goes along with playing. It's one of my favorite parts of play, though damn my skin, my marks go away almost instantaneously. Still, bruises, bite marks, whip marks, rope marks, all are lovely impressions left on the skin after play that make reliving the experience even easier.

The marks are badges of honor, badges of love, something to be proud of and to show off. Bottoms all around (whether sub, slave, switch, or even Dominant) tend to like to compare and contrast, telling stories of pleasure and pain over meals at munches or across the 'net on message boards.

These marks don't last, which can be sad, but that also leaves a fresh canvas for more memories to find their way, different designs all beautiful in their own way. They are masochistic flowers which bloom for short periods before fading from view.

The Permanent: That Which Reminds


Tattoos. Collars. Brands. These are the more permanent kinds of marks that can last for many years.

Collars, the wedding rings of BDSM, come in many forms. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, all sizes and colors and security levels, but one of the main purposes is to remind one that he or she is owned. Whether or not it CAN easily come off is immaterial. My collar currently takes the form of a necklace which can be unfastened without trouble. It gets taken off only for cleaning and polishing, and then ritualistically placed back around my neck. The rest of the time, it stays where it belongs.

Tattoos. These body mods are very popular, and can be used to mark memorials, to mark life changes, to mark possession...or for fun. I know people who have tattoos just because the design was pretty. I know others who have them as major life moments marked. It depends on the person. Tattoos are nice because of how vivid they are, and a design can be as detailed as you like. On the other side of that, they never go away. This can be good and bad. Relationships don't always last forever. It's something to consider before taking this step.

Branding. Ah, branding. Most think of branding cattle, and hey, maybe it's not too far from that. It can be a mark of ownership, and slaves in BDSM are "property" of their owners. However, for some, it can be a very spiritual experience. And not everyone who gets branded does so for ownership reasons. Like tattoos, branding has gotten popular as a body mod. They are simpler and more elemental than tattoos. Details get lost in brands, so simple line designs are best. The pain of a brand isn't too bad (and I'm seriously a baby when it comes to pain), but every person is different. Still, the experience was very important, special, and spiritual.

It's Personal


In the end, marks are intensely personal. They are different for every person, special in their own way, and can provide an intense amount of pride, either for enduring an ordeal or enjoying a pleasure.

Do any of you have marks that mean something? I'd love to hear your stories!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post!

Not a Lifestyler myself, but I can understand the significance of a body mark. I was always disappointed when my hickies faded. ;) There is something primal about body marks--emotion and memory recorded in the flesh.

Thank you so much for sharing!

Dena Celeste said...

Thank you!

Absolutely. Body marks are very primal, no matter how they're applied, and it's not always Lifestyle-related.

I love the way you describe it! Emotion and memory recorded in the flesh.

Thank you for commenting!

Dakota Trace said...

I recently had the triscallion tattooed on my forearm surrounded by lilies (which happen to be my favorite flower) I got it to show not only my support of the lifestyle but how it has changed me personally. While I may not go for the more extreme kinks, for it me it's the power exchange. I can't think of anything more sacred - and my tattoo is a representation of that.

Okay I'll get off my soap box now. LOL

Dakota

Dena Celeste said...

*grins* No worries, you are welcome with or without a soap box.

That sounds beautiful! It's all about what it means to you. A very, very personal choice, usually.

Power exchange, like body adornment, is very primal, and it makes sense that we would mark its importance in a similar way.

Thanks so much for commenting Dakota! Your mark sounds lovely!